return of the mango pit

After being up til 1am listening to Redley's tummy grumble and gurgle, I finally fell asleep. I had nightmares a few times but then woke up with him still breathing and curled up with me. At 6am, I woke up to go to the bathroom and because I heard him licking his feet. It must be a weird dog thing because Jack used to do that when he didn't feel good either. Next thing I know....up comes the mango pit. Based on size, I'm gonna say the whole thing came up which makes me happy. He did however break it into parts before swallowing which is good to know. I don't know that it would've gone down or up if he hadn't. I think I took how sturdy Jack's stomach was and how much he was able to pass through because of how big he was. Redley is almost 30 pounds lighter than Jack even though over all, size wise, they are about the same. Redley has long legs where Jack was a super muscled pit bull with almost twice the size. Their bodies are/were very different. Anyway, it's out and he seems no worse for wear. He has eaten, played and drank water as normal regardless. I also read this strange article about how to get a mango pit out. I don't know that I would recommend it unless you talk to a vet first but we did the pumpkin part of it to try to get things moving. I attached the link below. Let me know if anyone has first hand experience with this. It would be great for others to know!

http://peterdobias.com/2010/07/foreign_body_surgery/

What a relief!

One of those "worst mom ever" moments

Like it wasn't bad enough that Jack swallowed a fish hook when he was five and cost me five grand to fix (good thing my friends and family loved him because I had to borrow and pay it back over a long time), but now Redley went and swallowed a mango pit after I've only had him for two weeks. I put the pit in the garbage can and as I did, somewhere in my mind I said, "I should probably take the garbage out cuz it's kinda full and I don't want him to be tempted." But like an idiot, I didn't do it right that second. I decided it would be okay until I finished my lunch. I hadn't even sat down, all I did was walk into the other room to put my plate down and it was too late. Shit.

He's a big dog and he can pop a tennis ball in about five seconds so I'm hoping he at least broke it into a few parts before swallowing.  I can only hope. He pooped once since then, but obviously the concern is that he won't pass it on his own. He hasn't gone poop that we know of today but he did go out by himself several times so there's no way to be sure. I'm hoping we will have good news by tomorrow. I could just cry. I still hurt every day because I miss Jack so much. I can't take losing another any time soon, and Redley deserves better than me.

Unbelievable. Not sure I can sleep because of guilt, and because I'm so worried and upset. I'm such a dumbass....guess I'm in the dog house now.

Wow, life changes so fast!

I haven't even finished going through all the emotions of losing Jack, or even finished writing it down. And here I am about to tell you about the newest member of our family....Redley! Teeny, our chihuahua has been very sick the last few months. After losing Jack to cancer, Teeny lost himself. Prior to Jack's influence in his life, he kind of didn't do much. Wouldn't go for walks, fussed about what he ate if anything. He just was kind of there. Which at the time was probably good since Carol (my partner) was still going through some rough spots with her divorce. He would curl up with her in bed and just keep her company during the day while the kids were at school. When we met, I laughed because I would get to the beach with Jack, and Teeny would just be standing there, off leash, looking at Carol like, "What am I supposed to do now?" Anyway, long story short, he quickly learned to follow and outrun Jack to the ball and then follow him back once he picked it up.....since a regular size tennis ball won't fit in Teeny's mouth. Lol.
It's been just about six months since Jack passed away. Teeny started having really bad dreams (and so did I) almost immediately, and they didn't stop until about a month ago. 3 months ago though, he started refusing to eat or walk at all. The only time he would was with Napoleon (my mom's french bulldog) who was a part of the pack with Jack. Since Napoleon isn't here all the time, it wasn't helping much. We finally had to take him to the vet when it got so bad that he couldn't even make it outside before having diarrhea. It was awful. Poor little guy.
So for 3 months now, Teeny has been on steroids, anti-biotics, and stomach medicine. We think he had some food allergies before hand (hence the pickiness before Jack was around). Losing Jack just amplified it greatly. We were told he would probably need them long term. So that solved the food issue.....but he still refused to walk or run any more and he started losing muscle and couldn't even get on the couch without help. It was time to make a tough decision.....
I'm still not anywhere near over losing Jack. I'm not sure I ever will be. I loved him so much and still do. It's so hard. But I care very much about Teeny and it was making it worse for me to see him suffer. I figured looking for a dog didn't mean I would find one. But you know damn well I did.
  I won't go into details because I will probably write them later. It was the perfect situation for everyone. Redley is a pit, boxer, retriever mix. He's a little over a year and a joy to be around. He's handsome and smart and best of all......Teeny loves him :) Bug's is really, really mad at me but I think they will learn to be okay with each other just like he and Jack did, but it's gonna take some time.
In the mean time, Teeny is doing great. And so are we :) More soon!

Bad Rap Rescue Group

I have not been very good about taking steps to help my healing after Jack passed away in January. I have always been so afraid that if I let go of the pain, that it meant letting go of him and I don't want to. The first dog that I got for my 10th birthday from my uncle was the same way. When I lost her, it took 10 years for me to be ready to let another dog into my heart and now I am faced with the same painful situation. I wish that they never had to go. It's not fair. He is/was my best friend. I ache every day to have him back, even though I know that letting him go was the right thing. There wasn't anything medically that I could've done that I didn't and he was suffering. I looked at some pitbull rescue places.....and cried every time. There's one little girl named Possum that broke my heart. She's a part of the Bad Rap rescue program in the San Francisco area. She has the same wise and sweet personality that Jack did. She has recently found a home and I'm so happy for her. I hope it's everything that she ever wanted. There's part of me that had hoped she would wait for me, but I'm not anywhere near ready and I want her to be happy. Anyway, the Bad Rap group is awesome. I am stoked with the work that they do and they have some AMAZING dogs. Pits are the most misunderstood group of dogs out there and yet I know that Jack was the only one that was capable of unconditional love for me. They are emotional dogs, if you love them they will love you back. It's crazy, but they are so intelligent that you almost need to think of them like people. If you love them the way you want to be, they will love you back. If you are mean, you will get back what you dish out. Can you blame them? We don't blame people for sticking up for themselves. If you are a loving, kind person.....check out Bad Rap. They have some lovers that will love you back!
Sorry about the ranting....just trying to at least take some steps toward healing.

My first broken heart

I've had pets my whole life. I even grew up with a cat that was older than I was. My family has always had a soft spot for the ones in need. My mom found the cat in her parking space in college, he was little and sickly and wouldn't move. She worked at a vet clinic as a tech so she took him in. Without knowing what the implications would be later, she named him Pussy Gato. He was a great cat, slept with me in the crib, never bit anyone, was a total sweetheart. I had a pretty jaded view of animals because of him, I just assumed they were all that way. He lived to be 18.
Next was Noelle, or Wooby as we called her. She was my birthday present when I was 10. I had to keep my room clean for 6 months before my parents thought I could be responsible enough for a dog. She was my first love. I was not a perfect parent, but I loved her more than anything and she loved me unconditionally too. She would jump the fence (6ft fence, and she was a 15 pound small border collie mix) and follow me to piano lessons on my bike. Luckily she was small enough to fit in my backpack so when I'd see her running behind me I would stop and pick her up and put her in my pack. My piano teacher hated it but I didn't care.
My parents started calling her Wooby from the movie Mr. Mom. The "wooby" was the little boys security blanket. The dog was mine.
When I was 15, my parents divorced and along with my brothers and I, the dog kind of got caught in the middle. For the next 3 years I was in and out of the house and fighting with everything and everybody. I tried to take her with me when I could, but I couch surfed a lot and couldn't. After my 18th birthday my mom officially kicked me out of the house so I went to live with a friend of mine. I couldn't take her with me and it broke my heart. My mom said once graduation came, that I had to find a place for her.
She had originally came from my uncle who's dog had had puppies. So when I moved in with my dad after graduation, the decision was that she would go back with my uncle until we moved into a place where we could have dogs which would be 6 months from then. I was devastated but also relieved that it wouldn't be forever. Over the next two months, Wooby managed to run away from my uncle's house twice. The second time she was never found. I was later told that she never seemed happy there and they felt that she was trying to find me. I just about died when they told me. It took me 10 years to get through it.
Then, Jack came into my life and my heart opened up again for him.

my 40th birthday

Yesterday was my 40th birthday. I spent most of the day at the vet trying to find out what is wrong with Jack. I realize that he's 13 years old and that I should feel privileged to have him as long as I have but I can't seem to feel that way. 5 weeks ago my mom and girlfriend told me I needed to except that he was near the end as we lay with him in the middle of the night while he was shaking and throwing up. He rebounded from that night but 6 days ago he started the process again and hasn't been able to kick it. Luckily we have Dr. Suzy in our lives to help.
The original hope was that it was diabetes or pancreatitis that was probably onset by age. Both tests came back normal with the exception of his white cell count which was 3 times normal. It is clear from that that he has an infection at the very least. Next was an ultrasound to look for masses or bleeding, neither of which presented. There was however fluid between his abdomen wall and his organs, all of which were very shiny which means they are/were inflamed. Dr. Suzy took a sample of the fluid. It's called peritonitis. You can Google it. Not sure how he would've gotten it but he did. The fluid sample didn't show any obvious cancer cells either. So now what?
Jack got 3 shots.....one anti-inflammatory, one anti-nausea, and one antibiotic. The hope was to start the healing process and hopefully get him to want to eat more. He's lost 15 pounds in a month. It's probably a good thing he is a big dog to begin with or he wouldn't have made it this far.
I was hoping today would be better, but it's actually the first time I'm not sure what he wants or what's going to happen. And I'm scared. Up til now he's been telling me he wants to fight, but this morning I'm not sure what he wants and I don't want him in pain.